i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
