everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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