this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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