i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
50% drunk capacity currently
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
