my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Randomize
