I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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