And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
My vagina just recognized that song.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
