She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
