Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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