we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize