He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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