I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
