Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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