I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize