he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
