I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize