I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
no you cant smoke seaweed
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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