I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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