I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm both gender and math confused
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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