I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
be right there i have to get my cape
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
