i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
