she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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