I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
