you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
