just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I could fuck to npr.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
