Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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