Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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