My friends, they love my intelligence
lets start a swedish sibling band together
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i came on her dog
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
