I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I want a musical about memes.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
