Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
