he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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