the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
