What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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