Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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