One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
