I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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