Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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