i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize