you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
