Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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