Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
