Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
do nipples grow back?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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