so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I understand Curling. That high.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
