are you still at the devil's house?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
