gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
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