so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
