One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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