Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
