I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
