just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
