i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm both gender and math confused
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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