Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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