its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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