hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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