Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
