She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
