I forgot how hot balto sounded
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
