Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The air was thick with penises
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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