he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
